Life=Life=Life=Life

Sometimes, God, you crack me up. Sometimes, I cannot believe how amazing this life is.

So Sunday afternoon, I was home all day-I mudded the living room, I read my book, I took my dog for a long bike ride. Later on, I was writing in my journal, feeling so unmotivated to write because I feel like I have nothing important to say right now, I am just busy. The first words I wrote were, "What are you doing here?" As in, what is my plan and what do I want to do with my life. I didn't end up writing more than a couple pages (and PS Hanna I am almost finished with the journal you gave me before I left for Montana! I used it quite a bit to vent and write down all the new experiences I had) and all of it was very mundane, very robotic sounding, as if I were writing just to write. I tried to turn it into a freewrite but couldn't lose that sense of control like I used to be able to in high school.

What am I doing here???

Sunday night I am up in my room on my computer and checking me email. I get one from a woman named Terry. I had sent a message to the two modeling agencies in NH with my basic stats and a few pictures friends have taken and Terry was from one of them. Her message went like this, "I have received and reviewed your e-mail and your photos. I can see that your dance and athletic background, as well as your ethnic background have provided you with a fabulous look! In reviewing your stats however, your height would limit you to acting for television or film and perhaps commercial print modeling. Male catalog and fashion models must be 5’11” – 6’ 1”. If you have an interest in learning more about our acting division and the potential for commercial print modeling, please contact me so that we can make arrangements for you to come into the agency for an audition. You may contact me via return e-mail or call me at the agency. I hope to hear from you soon, Terry."

Shwahhh?????????????? For real for real?????

For real indeed. I have my audition tomorrow! They want me to come in and read a quick script and chat and take it from there! I am so pumped!!!!! Then last night, another agency called me!!!! Friggin nuts! So I realized that with the effort I put in by sending that email and giving something a try, God gave me back just as much and opened the doors for who knows what! I am in a state of disbelief! We'll see how it goes....

Anger Management

I think everyone could use a little lesson in anger management this week. I personally am waking up hating life in the morning this week for some reason. And let me just add, I think it has to do with the way the planets are lined up and the influence it gives us because believe it or not, this thing is far reaching. Wednesday I was supposed to go to a meeting in Concord for the NH Sustainable Agriculture Coalition. My boss emailed me at 3PM the day before and told me she wants me to be there. Well Concord is an hour from my house, and because I don't want to drive my personal vehicle, I prefer to drive the 45 min South to Durham, get a govy car, and then drive the hour to Concord. Well this Wednesday, I woke up to sleet and snow and gross stay-in-your-bed-and-sleep-in kind of feeling. I slept in, which I shouldn't of because I was supposed to meet my boss in Durham around 7:30 so we could commute to Concord together. But instead I called her and left a message asking her if I should just meet her at the meeting and bring my own car. THE BITCH NEVER CALLED ME BACK! I come into my office and she left a message saying she brought her own car over, that she's expecting me to be at the meeting, and could I bring a 50lb box of paper to her office?? So I just went to her office (with the box) and waited for the meeting to get over. THE BITCH NEVER CAME BACK TO HER OFFICE! I was there from 10-2:30. I didn't do anything. And now I'm worried about how it will reflect on me.

Today is Friday. I went to bed at 10:30 last night, which is way earlier than usual. I woke up and felt like I got 4 hours of sleep, but it was so cute--Quince has been sleeping in my bed during the night and he curls up in a little ball and snuggles with me!!! hahah sorry, but he's getting old and not doing so well lately I can't help but celebrate his time here. Anyway, it was about 15 degrees out at my house and when I got in my car I screamed! I am so sick of being cold--cold feet, cold hands, cold face, stupid wool blanket, stupid broken heat. All of this is swirling in my head and I had to scream out my frustrations. My whole 45 min ride was cold. GRRRRR and my horoscope today says, "Rising tension could trigger conflict under a Virgo Moon-Mars-Uranus lineup that puts people at odds. Try to steer clear of them, and choose your words and actions with care."